This is normally the time of year when you can expect to find me fundraising, requesting your show of support for survivors of sexual violence. This year, it looks a little different!
As you may know, I started 2020 off with quite the bang. I came forward and got loud! I shared my survival story of the attack of 2016 which left me a brain-injured survivor of rape and attempted homicide. I published a written account here on Getting Good, and I also shared my story on the podcast ChattyBroads with Bekah and Jess (episode 121, available wherever you listen to podcasts). It was a time of radical exposure that also allowed me to fundraise over $7,000 for our fourth year walking for change with the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center (BARCC). Unfortunately, following that Virtual Walk for Change, a number of disabled survivors of sexual violence sought me out to inform me that BARCC had actually been turning them away and not providing them services or additional resources. I was, of course, distraught to hear this and even more motivated to make a safe environment that truly upheld the belief and actions of Supporting ALL Survivors!
After receiving thousands of messages from survivors of sexual violence in gratitude and camaraderie for my coming forward, I wasn’t sure what I would do next other than continue to fight for justice and continue to fundraise for the local nonprofit. When that latter option was taken off the table, and the pandemic had kicked into high gear, I threw myself into something so incredibly fulfilling that I’ve been excited to share more about here! See, I found my inbox flooded with messages of fear of how isolation would affect each survivor’s healing journey when the pandemic hit. I had been outspoken about the life-saving impact that community had had on me. As my attempt at answering this concern and filling a clear need, I founded Whole Damn Survivor Fam in April 2020. Whole Damn Survivor Fam encompasses two virtual communities: Survivor Fam (founded April 2020) and Support Systems Need Support Systems (founded May 2020). I’m here right now to tell you again about Survivor Fam and to ask for your help!
Survivor Fam is a virtual space provided to survivors of sexual violence of all genders to come together in community, virtually. We meet twice weekly via Zoom. We meet each Wednesday at 6 PM EST, and each Sunday at 4 PM EST. We also provide a 24/7 support chat available to all community members via the GroupMe app. This is a peer led and maintained space, where our community can both confront and bond over how survivorship affects our movement through the world. Our intention is not only to hold space for one another, but to also learn to claim the space we take up ourselves. We never stop being survivors. We never stop healing from sexual violence. As a member, I can tell you it has become a beautifully empowering and uplifting little family to be a part of! As the founder, I can attest to the profound gratitude that survivors express after their first meeting, and after their twentieth!
Dating back to my time on bed rest, holding dear ones close and valuing them more than ever before, I dreamed about this sort of thing. I always thought, “One day…”
As a community, Survivor Fam would like to celebrate our continued survival and join in our active healing this April, Sexual Assault Awareness Month, together with a 4-day, 3-night retreat in New England. The retreat will be for up to 10 current members to attend in person (with proper Covid-19 precautions in place), and for the rest of our community to attend via Zoom. During this retreat, each member will host a workshop rooted in a somatic therapy that has served them. Just a few examples already planned include daily yoga offerings, daily group meditations, a music workshop, and a painting one. There will also be lectures and discussions surrounding popular topics such as shame and reclaiming the body after trauma. We’re all quite excited about the prospect of holding space together in person and pooling our resources to assist one another on this life-long road of healing from sexual violence.
This is where the fundraising, where your continuously generous donations come in! Below, you’ll see an attached GoFundMe link, where you may donate to what we hope will be our first annual Survivor Fam Retreat! If you choose to give, your money will fund all aspects of the retreat. Your donation will go toward a survivor’s travel expenses, their meals while in attendance, their room and board. Your donation may also go toward a survivor’s workshop supplies, received by both those in physical and virtual attendance. Any excess funds left following the retreat in April will go into our community crisis fund put in place to assist members of Survivor Fam in seeking safe housing when in need!
The primary means of donation is through the below GoFundMe link. Should you prefer to donate through Venmo, you can Venmo me at ChantelleDG with a note attached to your donation stating that it is for the retreat!
As a community, we’d all like to thank you sincerely in advance for any sharing of our campaign and, of course, all donations! As the girl who was bed bound for a year, who had to relearn movement, functioning, reading and writing, I’m eternally grateful to those of you who have watched me heal enough to reach this point. I will always have more to go. I will still be fighting for justice for years to come. I will still be spending my mornings committed to brain injury rehab for what we expect to be the rest of my life. But, I’m here! We’re here! And we’re doing good things. This just feels so right.
If you or somebody you know is a survivor of sexual violence, reach out, because survivors are always welcome in Survivor Fam. If you or somebody you know is a hands-on support system member to a survivor of sexual violence (i.e. parent, partner, involved friend), Support Systems Need Support Systems is a virtual community that meets weekly each Wednesday at 8 PM EST, and also has it’s own 24/7 community support chat via the GroupMe app. These communities are always growing, and you are welcome. You are safe and valued here.
Link to GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-fund-the-first-survivor-fam-retreat
Sending immense gratitude and healthy wishes,
Chantelle Dashner-Griffith
Founder of Whole Damn Survivor Fam
Survivor
Getting Good at Running Away 